Well..... what do you think of the NEW presentation?
It took a while with no shortage of swearwords along the way, but I think it's all there. Let me know if anything's not doing what it should.
Had another chat with Rod and Shirley, our good friends in Nashville, because we'd seen on the news that they'd had some pretty violent tornados in their neck of the woods, but they told us the storms narrowly missed them. Rod said that the weather they'd been experiencing was the worst since records began, and I can't help feeling that the worst is yet to come when you see the freak weather which is occurring all over the world. It's laughable in one way, all the talk of global warming, the ozone layer, etc etc, saying we've got to do this, and we've got to do that, when in reality it's all a bit late, the damage has already been done. In a way it's a comforting thought that we won't be around to see what happens!
Had an email from Foxy with this link: NASA%20pix.htm Even if you're not into Space related things, you've got to admit these pics are awesome!
Oh, by the way, there's another batch of good jokes on the JOKES page!
Sunday 17th Feb Chris and I spent the evening visiting the Tamar Valley Westerners at the Hyde Park Social Club. The artiste appearing was a gent I'd never come across before called Beau Blake who, I was told, originated from Georgia in the US of A, and was now living in Saltash of all places! He certainly looked the part, and his backing tracks, which were all on CD, sounded very good. Bearing in mind my ability to say the wrong things, I won't elaborate further. except to say that he was very adept at "assuming the position", which, those of you who have been reading my site for any length of time will understand. For those unfamiliar with the expression, it means that he stood on stage with a guitar slung round his neck which he spent a considerable amount of time leaning on rather than playing. I had a quick chat with him about his guitar which was a nice Washburn, and while we were chatting someone came over and asked him if he could sing one of the tracks on a CD that they'd just bought from him. His reply was that the song in question was not in the show that night ........ the mind boggles! I had no idea I was in the prescence of royalty. I thought he was there to please the crowd any way he could, which includes doing requests. Still, who am I to criticize, I've only been at it for fifty years. Nuff said.
Sunday 24th Feb was the big Party for the Tamar Valley Westerners, to celebrate 25 years since Lin and Lawrence first founded the club, and Hijack and I had offered our services free as we had played for the Westerners on a regular basis from day 1, which amounts to a lot of bookings! It was well publicised from what I was told, (although I don't listen to the radio much these days, Chris was listening to one of the local stations, Radio Devon, and heard it being advertised), and it seems I've got a new name. I'm now called "Mika" (sounds like a bloody Russian immigrant). Never mind, I'm too long in the tooth to worry about what people call me but it does prove a point. It doesn't matter how long you've been performing in public, there's still a lot of people out there who won't know you from Adam! Let's get back to the plot, the party. There was an excellent turnout and the place was packed, and the question "why can't it be like this every Sunday" was voiced by quite a few of the regulars, which is fair comment. Admission was by ticket and included a basket meal of your choice and everyone was well satisfied with the quality of the food. Hijack opened the show and did a 40 minute spot and then I did 30 minutes. Then there was a break for a raffle and some speeches which ended with the cutting of a lovely celebratory cake. Unfortunately, although I had in fact, put my camera on the table to take with me for the evening, I went without it. I think they call it Senile Dementure! Anyway, then it back to the music with Hijack. Now, don't get me wrong, Jack (0f Hijack) is a very good friend of mine and the salt of the earth, but he gets carried away when he's on stage. He likes to invite friends up to do a turn which is something I don't encourage having learnt from bitter experience that it can all too often turn into, as my mate Bobby Jones would say, a debaucle. I find it more explanatory to say, "go to rat-shit". Consequently Hijack's spot ran well over and by the time I got back on stage, there was only time for a couple of songs, one for Lin and Lawrence called "Look At Us", a Vince Gill song which was very appropriate for the occasion, and then the Trilogy, at the end of which there was a minute's silence to remember friends no longer with us, which I thought was a very thoughtful gesture. All the favourite requests that I normally would have played for different people had to be left out, and for that you have my apologies, although it was beyond my control. Having said that, the evening was a great success, and I feel sure that everyone had a good night.
Sunday 2nd March already, it seems like times going by a little faster these days. A good mate of ours, Ramrod, was playing for the Tamar Valley Westerners so we went along to say hello. It's a long old day for him, time he drives from Clevedon where he lives, to Weston Super Mare to pick up Steve who goes with him on the gigs, then drive down to Plymouth, do the gig, then the long drive home after, but we all do it and it's certainly not for what we make doing it. I think most musicians must have dropped on their heads when they were babies because there ain't that many sane people who would do what we do for the money you get doing it! Ramrod was in good voice and sang all the favourites including "Louisiana Way" so Chris and I could have our favourite dance. Being a reb through and through he gave Jimmy ( a true Blue) the usual ribbing including singing "The South Will Rise Again", at which time Jimmy decided to go out for a cigarette, but it's all done in the "best possible taste" as they say. We apologised to Ramrod for leaving before the end of the evening as both Chris and I were feeling more than a little knackered but thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent there.
It came to my notice recently that a new radio station had gone on air called Radio Scilly which, as the name says, is broadcast from St. Mary's on the Isles of Scilly. Having spent a lot of time over there in my younger years, and having written a few songs about the Islands, I decided to contact them and was pleasantly surprised to receive a nice email back from Keri, one of the presenters, asking me to send them the CD. So I've packaged it and will send it for their appraisal. More on that when it happens, but it will be interesting to get the reactions of people on the Islands who will recognise the names of the places and things I wrote the songs about.
You may have noticed one of the additions to the JOKES page, about Bubba going to the Doctor's. I know it's just a joke but it has a ring of truth which is becoming all too familiar unfortunately. I've been to see the Doc several times since Christmas regarding the problems I've experienced for a long time now with a Hiatus Hernia which seems to be getting progressively worse. I'm not going into detail about the ins and outs of the cat's backside, suffice to say that the doctor I have been seeing just doesn't seem to listen to a word I say. Consequently the last batch of medicine he dispensed to me, which I had told him on more than one occasion were doing anything for me, I packaged up and sent back to him along with a letter voicing my opinion of his "bedside manner", and have decided it might be prudent for me to try another doctor before I say something I might live to regret. I appreciate that they see a lot of patients these days but I wouldn't say no to what they earn for doing it, and, as another old saying goes, "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the bloody kitchen"!
The next two items are courtesy of Fran who emailed them to me. The first is a subject that is all too prominent these days in most countries, certainly here:
Britain Needs A Leader Like This!
Prime Minister John Howard - Australia
Muslims who want to live under Islamic
Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out
of Australia, as the government targeted
radicals in a bid to head off potential
terror attacks.
Separately, Howard angered some Australian
Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported
spy agencies monitoring the nation's
mosques.
If you have a fear of heights, don't look at the picture below:
PAINTED FLOOR IN BATHROOM
IMAGINE YOU’RE AT A PARTY ON THE 10th FLOOR
YOU’VE BEEN DRINKING A BIT (NOT THAT YOU WOULD!)
AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM
YOU OPEN THE DOOR ….
(NOW REMEMBER, THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED FLOOR)
KIND TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY DOESN’T IT…..
(SCROLL DOWN SLOWLY……)
THIS WOULD REALLY MESS YOUR MIND UP!
YOU WOULD PROBABLY ALSO FORGET WHY YOU CAME INTO THE BATHROOM
I watched a bit of News 24 a couple of days ago, and part of it was some interviews with Kenneth Clarke and some other MPs. With this in mind, if anyone out there happens to have the telephone number of any of the ancestors of Guy Fawkes, would they please pass it on to me, I've got a little job for them! .....
Sunday 16th March, another visit to the Tamar Valley Westerners to watch and listen to a young guy we'd never met before, Richard Palmer (click for pic). I'd been talking to my old mate Bobbie Jones and mentioned that Richard was due to appear and Bobbie said he knew him and that we should go and see him, so we did. The first thing I noticed was he had a good Country-style voice, and the second was that he was actually playing his Takamime accoustic (albeit with a capo occasionally) which was nice to see. A good variety of songs (although I did get the sneaky feeling that he likes Garth Brooks), and even a Froggie song requested by one of the ladies, which he played just strumming along with no other backing which was very good. It showed that, although still extremely young, he's there to do his best to please his audience, and that's a good sign in anybody's book. I had a quick chat with him during the second break and, although we've never met before, we've got a lot of mutual friends that we've both played alongside over the years. One piece of sad news he passed on that I wasn't aware of was that Dillinger are no longer playing together, so I'll have to try and get hold of Richard Harding and find out what happened. To sum up, the evening was enjoyable, and it's good to know there are youngsters out there to carry on where us old buggers leave off.
Friday 21st March we were invited to a surprise birthday party meal at a New Orleans Steak House in Plymouth. It was my mate Scott's 50th, and as far as he knew, he and his partner Michelle were going out for a quiet meal. I'd love to have seen the expression on his face when, not one, but two stretch limos pulled up outside his house packed with family and friends. We'd arranged with Michelle to meet them at the Steak House because it's literally on our doorstep, and so we were there when the limos turned up and everyone clambered out all 33 of them! The menu was an education, I saw things on the menu I'd never heard of, let alone eaten, and, try as I might, I couldn't find anything that I could eat. I haven't had a good steak in ages, not because I've gone off it, but because it's gone off me. I should explain perhaps that steak is one of the hardest things to digest, so anyone with a Hiatus Hernia like mine would probably enjoy eating it, but suffer for days after! One of the waitresses came around and I asked her if it was possible to have just a nice piece of chicken with some chips and peas without any of the spices, peppers and whatnots they bugger it up with, and she was extremely helpful and told me it wouldn't be a problem, except that, because it wasn't on the menu, it would appear on the bill as the nearest thing they had to it. So that piece of chicken, along with some chips and peas cost me £9.75! Still, we were there for the company, not the meal, so what the hell... There were a few hilarious moments, like when everyone opened the little boxes on each place setting, and found these balloons which blew out to about four foot long and which, when you let them go went screeching around the restaurant and had everybody diving for cover. One that Scott launched went straight between a loving couple sat in a secluded corner before running out of steam and the looks on their faces was a picture. Then some were inhaling the helium from some of the other balloons tied to the backs of their chairs, and we all know what happens but it's always funny when they talk. As is the norm these days, the smokers all had to go outside for a cigarette, and it was real brass monkey weather but, on this occasion, an eye opener because there was a hen night going on and some of the costumes didn't leave much to the imagination! Particularly 2 young ladies(???) who were prancing around in the freezing cold in skimpy bikinis! Chris said, "That made your night" but as I told her, I've seen more meat on a butcher's knife. It was a great evening and made a pleasant change, not that I would like to make a habit of it at their prices.
Saturday 22nd March I was booked to play at another 50th Birthday party. We left home in plenty of time and drove to the venue I had written down in the diary, and on arriving, found it was all boarded up. I asked a local out walking his dog about the club, and he told me it had been closed down a while ago through lack of support. So now I had a problem, all dressed up and not knowing where to go because I didn't have the contact number with me, so we drove home again and I tried ringing the number I had in my diary. As I feared there was no answer, because everyone was at a party waiting for the band to turn up! Then I had a brainwave and phoned Lin and Lawrence of the Tamar Valley Westerners because the lady who had booked me used to be a member of the Westerners and was well known by them. Luckily Lin knew where the party was being held and so we got back in the car and drove to the Leisure Centre at Derriford Hospital, Plymouth, and I vaguely remembered that Edna, the lady who booked me, had rung a second time to tell me about a change of venue, but muggins had forgotten to change it in the diary! It's an age thing! As I mentioned earlier, we had originally set out with plenty of time to spare, and so I still wasn't late, in fact, after apologising for my mistake and setting up, I started playing 5 minutes late, which was pretty good going! They say it's a small world, and on this occasion it certainly was because I met people I knew from the dim dark past that I hadn't seen in a lot of years, and found out that one couple we've seen regularly at one of the western clubs, Debbie and her husband (whose name escapes me), live just a short distance down from me in Grenville Road, Plymouth, and we've never seen them in the 2 years I've been there! It was a nice evening although no one seemed to want to dance but just sat and chatted and listened to the music, which is fine by me as long as they're enjoying it. It was an 11pm finish so we were home before midnight which was ideal.
Having spent six months doing up the flat I now occupy in Grenville Road, Plymouth, I thought I would now be able to "hang up" my tools so to speak, except for the odd maintenance job, and take it easy....... silly me. It all began just over a month ago when a friend rang my doorbell, and when I opened the front door, she was standing there in tears. She told me how a flat she had been renting out to, what seemed to be a reputable young man, had literally been wrecked by said young man. Chris and I went with her to survey the damage and it was horrendous. The young man's father was a solicitor, and his mother was a head mistress which you would think would be ideal credentials for a would be tenant. It just shows how wrong you can be to trust anyone these days. Anyway, Chris and I agreed to try to put right everything that needed doing, and didn't really realise at the time just how much work was going to be involved. For the first 3 days Chris worked like a Trojan, using a huge amount of bleach, just to get rid of the dirt and grime on the floors, walls, and even the ceilings, and on a couple of occasions on returning home, was violently sick from the stench. The deep freeze and fridge which were switched off, had been left with food in them, which was well rotten, and the toilet I'll leave to your worst imagination! Eventually she had the place ready to start painting and decorating and got stuck into that. Meanwhile, I made a start on the repair work that needed sorting and it was a long list. To start with, there had a water leak, which Lee, the guy who occupies the upstairs flat, who happens to be a plumber, had traced and sorted. Unfortunately, to find it, he had to dig a large channel in the kitchen floor which is concrete, and so that had to be refilled with sand and cement. That, plus the pieces of skirting board which needed replacing in a couple of rooms, was a doddle. Some of the other jobs I could quite cheerfully left for someone else to do, if anyone would do them! The wall heater and shower in the bathroom, had been completely wrecked, and, as I couldn't budge the screws holding it up, I literally had to dismantle what was left of the shower unit, and break the back plate, before being able to get at the screws with a pair of stillsons to get them out. I got them out and found them to be No.10 steel screws about 3" long, nothing like a bit of overkill! The light in the passage wasn't working, and on checking the switch boxes, I found that one switch was even wired up! I had to renew one of the back boxes because the switch had been screwed in with self-tapping screws rather than the usual 6BA. On trying to rewire the 2way switching I found I was a cable short so it couldn't be done. There was a weighty chandelier light in the lounge which was literally hanging on the two switch leads, no sign of a bracket to take the weight! A double socket in the kitchen was loose so I thought I'd just tighten it up a bit, and found that the plaster board it was mounted on was non existent. I won't bore you with any more of the nightmares I came across, suffice to say I've only scratched the surface, and it took us four long weeks to get everything straight.
You might think that's the end of the story, wrong again. My dad died sadly years ago and so I'm always doing the odd job for Mum from time to time. Although I am the eldest of three siblings, both my brother and sister have lived in different parts of the country, that is, until a couple of years ago when my sister finally put down roots with her husband Ron in Saltash, not far from Mum's house, and Pat, bless her is always there for Mum when she needs her. Anyway, whilst Pat and Mum were chatting one day, it was decided that a change was needed in Mum's place which required moving all the furniture from the front room into the dining room, and vice versa. It was, in point of fact, a logical decision, because the front room (at present) faces north, while the dining room (which is obviously warmer and lighter) faces south, and as Mum spends the majority of her time in the front room, it seemed logical that it should be the most comfortable one. The trouble is, nothing is ever that straight forward, like the fact that in the existing front room the two alcoves had been boxed in with fancy wooden arches which would have to be removed to make room for the two units that needed to be put there. At this point it might be a good idea to explain that this particular house is where I spent my childhood days, but shortly after myself and my brother and sister had flown the nest so to speak, Mum and Dad moved to another house in Saltash where they lived for quite a few years, looking after his mother, her mother, and one of my great aunts. Can you imagine what that must have been like, God, it doesn't bear thinking about, three old ladies under the same roof, it must have been a nightmare! Anyway, I digress, back to the plot. Eventually, when all three dear old ladies had passed on, Mum and Dad started looking to move again and guess what.... they rebought the old house I grew up in! Unfortunately for me, the husband of the family who had been living there, fancied himself at DIY, and someone should have told him very early on that he was clueless. Has anyone ever seen a kitchen worktop which was held together with... not screws.... not even nails.... but the rivets used for patching up car bodywork! Needless to say this plonker had designed and built the wooden archways for the alcoves, and the shelf support units were attached to the wall with 3" masonry nails, so that, even with a crowbar, I ended up breaking them rather than getting them out in one piece! A new cellar door was needed as the old one was rotting and so I made one. I'm not blowing my own trumpet but, when I make something, I try to do do it properly, and one of the tools I used is a square. Something, it would seem, which is not an item in some people's tool kit, because, although my door was square, the hole it had to go in was not! We've almost finished what needs to be done, so hopefully, in the not-too-distant future I'll be able to put my feet up again, and I swear, if I ever come across the cowboys whose work I've had to put right ...............
Further to the above entry, Chris and I took Mum out to get a new storage heater for the "new" front room, as the old one, which was a bit of a monster was rather old, and not very efficient. The only trouble with storage heaters is that, because of the fire bricks in them, they tend to weigh a ton, and you've got to take all the bricks out to move them. So after taking it apart, and taking out 21 big bricks, I was able to disconnect it and chuck it out for the tip, along with all the bricks. We put it all by the wall in the pathway between Mum's house and the house next door, in the hope that some enterprising person might decide the bricks would make a great barbie and take them, thus saving me the trouble of having to take them to the tip! It's a standing joke where I live, if you've got anything you want to get rid of, just leave it in the back lane by the back gate, and hey presto, within a day or two, it's gone. Very handy! The new heater was assembled without any problems and, although the same sort of length and height, it's only half the thickness with just over half the amount of bricks, making it a lot tidier to look at, and it's far more efficient.
Sunday 20th April I dragged myself out of my comfortable chair and loaded up the gear as I was playing for the Tamar Valley Westerners. Don't get me wrong, they're a great bunch and I always enjoy the evenings that I play for them, it's just getting harder and harder to get myself motivated initially. Anyway, we arrived in plenty of time and parked where we normally park to get the gear in, only to find the club had put up a new safety rail blocking the normal access, so I had to move the car to a different spot and walk a bit further.It turns out that the rail had been installed because a certain female artiste had somehow lost her footing on the original steps and hurt herself, and there was a rumour that she intended to sue somebody. Christ, we're getting more like the Yanks every day, suing somebody for the least little thing, even if it was you're own fault for not being a little more careful in the first place. Anyway, back to the plot. It was fairly quiet with a noticeable lack of bums on seats, but as the saying goes, "the show must go on" and I did my best to give everybody there a good mixture of old and new making sure to do ALL the requests I received. The mischievous side of me did think of announcing that some requests couldn't be done because they weren't included in the show that night but I thought that was being a bit too catty! My big problem these days is that, because I'm only playing once in a blue moon, I tend to forget the words of some songs, and quite often get a quizzical look from Chris, bless her, who picks up every bum note and mumbled word, and they're getting more frequent as time goes on! Still, as Chris always says, "At least it shows you're doing it all live on stage"! At the end of it all, it was a good night, and we went home feeling knackered but happy.
Had a call from Fran & Joe today (21st) of the Two Tribes club. Chris and I met up with them a few years back when I played for them, and we've been firm friends ever since. I'm booked to play for them on 14th June this year, and it had been arranged that we would go up on the Friday, even though I wasn't playing until the Saturday. Fran called to let me know that the tent we normally sleep in was not going to be available, and was wondering how we were going to overcome the problem. I told her her that it was funny because I was going to give her a ring explaining that we wouldn't be arriving until the Saturday anyway because of the ever-increasing effects of my Hiatus Hernia which makes lying down to sleep a problem without a stack of pillows. I told her we would be there in plenty of time for some socialising, do the gig, and then drive home again. It's going to be a LONG day but it's the lesser of 2 evils. The disappointing part is that, aside from cutting down the time we can spend with the friends we've made, we'll miss out saying hi to Bobby D Sawyer on the Friday night, and Grandpa T (Tony) Smith on the Sunday. C'est la vie.
Surfing around I came across this little gem which should crack a smile on the stoniest face..... "Did you eat beans tonight"
Just had an email from a good friend of mine Dave Brown which I thought I'd pass on to everyone. The trouble is nowadays there are so many idiots out there with computers you can never be sure if it's for real or some prats idea of a joke. Still, better to be safe than sorry......
Thought you should be aware of the
following:
Emails with pictures of Osama Bin-Laden
hanged are being sent and the moment you
open these emails your computer will crash
and you will not be able to fix it. If
you get an email along the lines of 'Osama
Bin Laden Captured' or 'Osama Hanged'
DO NOT OPEN THE ATTACHMENT. This
e-mail is being distributed through
countries around the globe. Be considerate
and send this warning to all those you know,
especially friends, family and contacts.
You should be alert during the following
days. Do not open any message with an
attached file called 'Invitation' regardless
of who sent it.
This is a virus that opens an Olympic Torch
which 'burns' the whole hard disc C of your
computer.
This virus will be received from someone
who has your e-mail address in his/her
contact list. This is why you should send
this e-mail to all your contacts.
It is better to receive this message 25
times than to receive the virus and open it.
If you receive a mail called
'Invitation', even though it is sent by a
friend, do not open it, but shut down your
computer immediately.
This is the worst virus announced by
CNN. It has been classified by Microsoft as
the most destructive virus ever.
This virus was discovered by McAfee and
at present there is no repair for this kind
of virus. This virus simply destroys the
Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the
vital information is kept.
PLEASE
PASS THIS ON
I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions.
Ignore the email warning above, I've just had another message from Dave saying it's a hoax. Well, I did say there's a load of prats out there didn't I !
On a more serious note, I received the following email, which makes me ashamed to admit to being a member of, what is purported to be, the most intelligent species on this planet. The mere fact that, after thousands of years of supposed advancement, it's still necessary to send young men and women to fight for a cause in a strange land, is a sad reflection of how far we've progressed in the grand scheme of things. The message was about the Military fighting overseas in Iraq and Afghanistan and paid tribute to them. I did, in fact, copy it all into a file in Microsoft Word and put it on this page, but on checking it's size (15mb), I had to take it off again because it put me over the website limit! My heartfelt sympathy goes out to everyone of our troops overseas, and their families and friends who wait anxiously at home, it's a crying shame that, even after all those years of, so-called evolution, we still can't get it right.
A few weeks ago I was watching a news item where the newscaster was interviewing a scientist regarding the odds of there being intelligent life elsewhere in the Universe, and the chances of them (if they exist) coming to Earth, and one of the comments the newscaster made summed it up really. He said, "Even if there is intelligent life somewhere else, why would they bother to come here because they wouldn't find any here !" If you sit back and take a good look at what goes on around you on a daily basis, you've got to agree, he hit the nail right on the head, God Help Us.
Sunday 27th April, one of these evenings where I wished I'd stayed home and watched the box. I was playing at the Parkway Club for our good friends of the Renegades/ Medicine Wheel combined club. I set up the gear and on checking the sound found one side of my speakers was down, so I set about tracing the fault, which I eventually found to be a dual track volume control on the power amp. Obviously, over the years, there had been a build-up of dirt which was affecting the tracking in the pot, and I just prayed that giving it a good "wiggle" would get me through the evening. After a couple of attempts I got it working reasonably, but was on edge all night waiting for it to go down again. I seemed to be getting away with it until, in the third set, I played "The Fields of Athenry", which is always popular, and everything was going great until it got to the solo which I had played in using a flute, and it started playing in a completely different key to the rest of the backing. It sounded bloody awful so I had to stop the backing and apologise for the flute player who had obviously had one too many pints of Guiness! How it happened I have no idea, and just to confuse the issue further, the next day, when I set the gear up at home to rectify the faults I had experienced, I played the backing track again, and it played all the way through with no problems whatsoever! One of life's mysteries, but something you can do without when you're trying to entertain people. All I could think at the time was "I'm getting too old for this crap".
I've just had a load of jokes sent to me by Fran bless her and I'll put some on the JOKES page, but I couldn't resist putting this one here just to give you a taster:
STILL WAITING
I did what you told me ...... I sent the email to 10 people like you said ..... I'm STILL waiting for that miracle to happen ....
The rest are on the Jokes page !
Diesels are far more reliable than petrol engines as is reflected in the motor trade prices. They seem to start in any weather conditions which leave petrol engines struggling. In short, if you can afford to pay a bit more, get a diesel you won't regret it, that is until something does go wrong, and then be prepared to dig deep. My old Vauxhall Astra 1.7TD has served me proud and with almost 200,000 on the clock still runs like a dream. Unfortunately all that changed last Friday when we went to leave Mum's place to head back home. I got in, switched on the ignition, waited for the heater plug light to go out, and keyed it to start and .... nothing, it just refused to fire and umpteen attempts made no difference. It was turning over but that was all. It was time to contact the RAC who arrived about an hour later and had no more luck than I did, but at least the guy was able to tell me what, in his opinion, was wrong. There is, what the trade calls, a kill switch in the fuel pump which is opened when you insert the ignition key into the ignition switch via a chip in the key being recognized by a receiver in the switch assembly. It all sounds very technical but boils down to the fact that the fuel pump has got to removed and the faulty solenoid replaced. So next the RAC guy gave me the options I had, being towed home, or to a garage. Luckily, where I live now in St Judes, Plymouth, there is a little garage about 50 yards from my front (or back) door run by a couple of guys who must know what they're doing because they are very popular with all the local hackney cabs, so I chose the "home" option and we drove home in the RAC van with the poorly car on the back. We dropped it off by the garage and Ian, the mechanic, promised to have a look at it as soon as he could. It's a small world because it turns out that his sister Debbie is a friend of ours on the Country Music scene and we'd only been speaking to her a few weeks ago. At the moment I've got everything crossed, fingers, legs you name it, that the problem can be resolved without getting too expensive, I'll let you know......
I've often thought, during the last couple of years, that moving from Saltash into Plymouth has been to my advantage in a lot of ways. Granted I no longer have a scenic view of the River Tamar out of my front room window but that's a small price to pay compared to the advantages gained in other things like being able to forget about the car and walk into Plymouth City Centre in just over 10 minutes, having a small shop which is open all hours literally across the road, a great chippy just down the road, and now a garage about 50 yards from my back gate. I walked over to see how the car was doing and Ian, the mechanic I spoke of earlier had sorted the problem and just needed to do a short test drive before handing it back to me. As anyone who has a car will understand, it's always a bit of a worry when something goes wrong with it, and you don't know what sort of expense is likely to be incurred. As this particular problem involved the fuel pump, a very expensive item, I have to admit to being more than a little worried as to how much I would be forking out. So my delight at getting the car fixed was doubled when Ian told me the bill was £50 when I had been thinking the worst. Needless to say any future problems I'll be taking it straight to him to sort out. I admit I feel a bit guilty that I won't be taking the car to Malcolm in future as he's been very reliable over the years, but when it comes down to the travelling involved to Malc's garage, there's no contest. For example, when I took the car to Malc for a pre MOT one day, and the MOT the next, I clocked best part of 100 miles in the two trips whereas now I can leave the car parked at the back of my flat, walk over to Ian and give him the key, he'll let me know when it's done and I'll walk over and pay the bill. No more sitting around in the middle of nowhere in the rain or cold, definitely a plus!
They sat that "into every life, a little rain must fall", and just when I thought the sun was coming out again the bloody microwave decided to weld Chris' dinner, along with the bowl it was in, to the plate you put things on! There was thick smoke everywhere and it didn't smell very nice either which is understandable so it was a case of open doors and windows to let it blow through. Luckily the weather had been lovely all day and it was still warm in the evening. We sorted it out and then it was a quick trip up the road to Tesco's to buy another one. It would seem that somebody up there is determined that I've got to fork out one way or another, I wonder what comes next.....
Funnily enough, for the past weeks or more I've been having trouble with the Self Care site on Blueyonder (now Virgin Media). To the uninformed it's a site I can log on to to check the daily statistics of my website. How many people are logging on, what they're looking at, what they're downloading etc etc. I do this so that I can get an idea of what you, the readers, are interested in, so that, hopefully, I can keep the website interesting. Anyway over the last 3 weeks or so I've phoned the 0906 number umpteen times and heard all sorts of promises and excuses which haven't amounted to a donkey's fart. The site was "upgraded" a while ago, and hasn't been right since, they're having all sorts of problems. Why the hell they couldn't leave well alone Christ knows, they obviously aren't familiar with the old saying,"If it's working, don't fix it"! At present I have been promised a phone call from their "second-line team", who it would seem are supposed to be the whiz-kids at putting things right when they go wrong. It might not seem to be a big thing to make a fuss about but, it's an integral part of the service supplied by Virgin Media; and one which I, and thousands of others, are paying for so I'm sticking to my guns. I expect many of you have experienced something similar when you've had cause to contact Virgin Media or a similar organisation, it seems most of the time, you feel you're talking to a brick wall for the the satisfaction you're getting. It would seem that the only way you'll get their attention is stop paying for the service until they sort it out. One other small point I'd like to make is regarding the telephone number 0906 212 1111, the number you have to ring when there's a problem. They tell you at the start of the call that you'll be billed for the call unless the outcome of the problem proves to be a fault at their end and not yours. I checked my bill for last month and there were 2 calls to that number at 98p a call that they were billing me for even though I had been told I would not be charged for them, so watch them. Lastly, and I've got a feeling I've written about this before, why the hell do they employ people from foreign countries whose accents you have a job to understand answering the phones. Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against people from faraway countries coming to live and work here in the UK, I admire their ambition and determination to make a better life for themselves and learn another language. All I'm saying is, just because you learn another language, it doesn't necessarily follow that you can speak it fluently, which would appear to be the case with the majority of the people being used as telephone operators. It obviously boils down to the crap wages being paid for doing the job which is yet another sad example of the bloody society we live in. "Value for Money" is no longer in the English Dictionary.
Further to my last entry, I have been on the phone to Virgin Media again and, at long last, been given a very reasonable explanation for the problems I have been experiencing. It appears that when Virgin Media took over Telewest Blueyonder and two other companies they inherited a load of problems because of the differences in the operating systems of said companies, and are at present climbing a huge mountain trying to bring all the systems together into one which will be efficient for all users. I wish them all the luck in the world, and in the meantime the likes of us will have to bite the bullet until it's all done. Another point which came to light during our conversation is that Virgin Media have offices all over the world, and often, when you ring the 0906 number, if the main office in Liverpool are snowed under with calls, you could be connected to an office in India or wherever, which goes a long way to explaining why you could be talking to someone with a very strong accent which you've got a job to understand. I haven't yet worked out why it's done that way and I don't suppose I ever will because I'm what you might call a "homeboy" who has never really felt the urge to visit faraway places. Hell I haven't really seen that much of the UK let alone the rest of the world. The trip we took to Nashville is the farthest I've ever ventured and I won't be fussed if I never do anything like it again.
Had a phone call from Fran who, with Joe, runs the Two Tribes CWC, a great club that I've had the pleasure to play for over the years. It was regarding the booking in June that I mentioned a while back and it was to say that unfortunately, through lack of support on the booking of caravans etc for the weekend, she had no choice but to cancel the event which was a shame because it's always a good do. I tried to console her as she was extremely upset at having to cancel all the entertainment but as I said, the money to pay artistes has got to come from somewhere, and if you ain't got bums on seats, you ain't gonna git any. The sad part is this little episode is it's a reflection of how things are going with the majority of clubs and I feel for anyone trying to make a living touring around because, if the downward trend continues, there's not going to be enough venues to go round. Another thing you can thank bloody Brown and his cronies for because, let's face it, the no smoking ban was the final nail in the coffin for clubs that were already struggling to survive. I don't get around much nowadays but wherever I've been it's plain as the nose on your face. I had to laugh at a bit on the telly where they interviewed people in different communities about the lack of neighbourhood spirit and one old guy who was 80 odd and lived in a house in this village all his life didn't even know the name of the people next door! Sadly signs of the times we live in and it's a downward spiral it's going to be extremely difficult to get out of. It's at times like this I'm glad I'm an old bugger because I wouldn't want to be a youngster nowadays, if you think of all the negatives you haven't really got a snowballs chance in hell. I'm off for a cup of tea and a fag!
Fran may have been a bit down re having to cancel the gig in June but she's still got her sense of humour... check out the latest addition to the JOKES page!
The saying goes "bad luck always comes in threes", well, I' ve got news for you, it ain't necessarily so as you'll see here. First, the DVD player/recorder started playing silly buggers, kicking out halfway through a film; then I got caught speeding; then the car wouldn't start as I explained recently; and then just to be awkward, the bloody microwave went manic and welded a plastic microwave approved bowl and it's contents, Chris's tea, to the Pirex plate filling the kitchen with smoke! Needless to say it was knackered after that so I had to go out and buy another one, but what caused it to go apeshit is anyone's guess. Let's hope things are back to normal with no more rude surprises for a while. Funnily enough, I had a chat on the phone with my old mate Bobby Jones, and he's had a bit of a run of bad luck too, but that's not strictly true because on one of the incidents there's two ways of looking at it. He'd driven to a gig, parked up, unloaded and set up his gear, played the gig, and was packing everything away when somebody came up to him and said he'd better go out and have a look at his car. When he went out and inspected it he noticed that it seemed to be listing badly to one side at the front, and a closer inspection revealed that one of the main suspension springs had broken. When I said there were two ways of looking at it this is what I meant. The spring had snapped while the car was parked up which is strange to say the least, but imagine what would have happened if he'd been doing sixty when it happened, it doesn't bear thinking about! The other incident could and should have been avoided. He'd driven 90 miles to play at a Sports Club somewhere only to find when he arrived the venue that it was all boarded up. It turned out that the bloody club had closed down 2 weeks before and nobody had bothered to tell him! I won't repeat his words but I know exactly where he's coming from because most of us with a few miles under our belts have been down a similar road at some stage in our careers, I suppose you could say it's occupational hazard but to me it's just a crap attitude and should never be allowed. If the shoe was on the other foot and he hadn't bothered to show up for the gig, there would have been a right song and dance and Bobby's name would have been mud, but it has always seemed that it's alright to treat the artistes like shit because they're ten a penny.
I had another phone call, this one was from Gwyndaf (formerly part of Closing Time, presently part of Kickback Country). It was great to hear from him as we hadn't spoken for quite a while and there was a lot of catching up to be done. One of the things he told me could well be the death knell for those still trying to make a living touring around the country. He and his mate had driven from North Wales to Ipswich to do a gig and it cost them £113 in diesel! With the dwindling numbers in membership in the clubs because of the no smoking and the ridiculous rise in the price of drinks, how the hell can you pass on the extra travel expense to clubs that can't cover it. Deep down in my gut I firmly believe this is the beginning of the end.
On a happier subject, (for me anyway), I've treated myself to a new toy. For several years I have been using a great digital camera, a Panasonic DMC-FZ5, which has served me well. The only drawback has been it's size. Don't get me wrong, it's not huge, it's a normal size digital camera, but there have been many occasions when I've thought "I can't be bothered with the hassle of carrying it". Then, out of the blue, I had an email from Gizoo, an Internet company that specialise in "boys toys", offering me a tiny digital camera that you slip into your pocket and take with you anywhere. It interested me enough to do a search on Google for reviews on the camera but the reviews I found warned me off that particular model, so I had a look on Ebay for something similar. I found a Canon SD1000 Powershot advertised which looked very promising so, once again, I searched Google for independent reviews, and all the reviews I read praised this unit highly, so I bought it. The offer included several bonus gifts which, when I priced them all up, made the camera an even more attractive deal. Anyway, the camera with all the extras arrived and I wasn't just impressed, I was utterly gobsmacked at the amount of technology they'd packed into something the size of a credit card! For the more technically minded it is a 7.1megapixel camera, which is nearly half as big again as my Panasonic, and has umpteen facilities including crystal-clear video which is amazing. With the 4gig memory card which was one of the bonus gifts you can click forever, and being the size of a credit card and 18mm thick, there's no excuse for leaving it sitting on the desk when you're going anywhere. I took this picture of it sat next to my Zippo lighter to give you an idea of it's size (click for pic).
Today (27th May) we're recovering from a hectic Bank Holiday Monday which we spent travelling up from Plymouth to Court Farm (near Weston-Super-Mare) to play for the Big W on the last evening of their Roundup. After a week of good weather, on the day we could have done without it, we had to drive the 100 plus miles up and back in bad weather, torrential at times. To make matters worse there was a massive traffic build-up from Junction 24 on which lead to a stop - start journey over the last 20 odd miles. Luckily, the weather abated for the time we were at Court Farm and we spent an enjoyable afternoon and evening in the company of our good friends Ramrod & Di, and Steve & Mary, and it was great to see and talk to a lot of friends we hadn't seen in quite a while. The Big W Westerners are very "family orientated" much like the Tamar Valley Westerners, and it's great to see so many young people taking part. At the back of the farm they've built a western town with a jail and a church etc and during the afternoon we were treated to a look around the shacks that Ramrod and Steve had built and it was like stepping back in time. I took this photo of Steve and Mary's place in sepia and it really gives you an idea of what I mean (click for pic). The venue for the evening's entertainment was a huge barn which makes a great setting but was, unfortunately, like playing in a fridge, and it took me a while to get my fingers warmed up playing my guitar. When I look back at some of the places I've played like the decks of ships, in open fields, tents, you name it, it was another reminder that I'm not as young as I was and by the end of the evening it certainly felt that way. Add that to a 100 plus mile drive home in torrential rain it's not hard to understand why I felt a trifle knackered. Just to add insult to injury, we drove into a very dense belt of fog at Haldon Hill near Exeter and were reduced to 35mph as it was a job to see the front of the car, let alone the road it was on, and so it was a welcome relief to finally arrive home at 2am, off-load the gear, and have a well-earned cuppa before falling into bed.
Having just watched an item on News 24 relating to the facts surrounding a broken toilet on a space station orbiting the Earth, I couldn't help but laugh at the picture it brought to mind. Just imagine you're up in space and you have to use the loo. You do the business, pull the flush, and wash your hands etc etc. Here on Earth the waste goes down through the sewer and ends up, (hopefully), at a waste recycling plant, but where does it go up there???? My warped sense of humour presented me with a mental picture of bits being shot out into space to float around for eternity and splat on the windscreens of passing shuttles. I've heard of bird shit on your car windscreen but the other doesn't bear thinking about!
Monday 9th June, and not really very much to report on the music scene. I played for the Tamar Valley Westerners last night, my first gig since Court Farm, and noticed that a few faces were missing but it was just down to people being away on holidays etc. As usual, I tried to play all the favourites songs of different members, including the "Red Hot Salsa" which is Regan's (Lin & Lawrence's grand-daughter) favourite. She's only 5 and has loved to get up and dance to that song literally since she was able to walk, but I could see last night, that she now has it off to a "T", and will be a great asset to the Ladie's Dance section in the near future. As I said before, it's great to see youngsters growing up with a love of the Country scene and carrying on their traditions. I had a few "funnies" with the PA but can't really expect any other because, nowadays the gear spends more time in the cupboard than it does on stage! It was probably just that the circuitry was a bit damp and needed to heat up a bit and dry out but, after an uneasy start, everything settled down and behaved itself and I had a good night. Even going out for a smoke during the breaks was fine because it was a warmish night and you weren't freezing yours nuts off which made a change. I've always said, the bloody Government were crafty as a bag of monkeys introducing the "No Smoking" ban in July when the weather is supposedly warmer. I think if they'd done it in November or whatever, there would have been a lot more reaction, but by the time it started to get colder it was well established. Still, the way things are going it's not really going to matter one way or the other because, with the rocketing price of fuel, the ever-increasing price of drinks etc, people won't be going out anyway!
I had an expensive visit to the optician's recently. It was only April last year that I bought a new pair of glasses but I've never really felt comfortable with them, mainly because, being the smaller, supposedly more fashionable frames, I'm always aware of the frame when I look through them. Anyway, whatever the reason, I decided that, as I'm wearing them all day every day, it would pay me to get something different, and opted for rimless. I explained to the examining optician the problems I had been experiencing with my existing glasses, and the resulting examination took quite a time, even Chris commented on how long it took! Even the assistant who had to set the frame adjustment had her measurements double-checked by the optician and a more senior assistant, so, hopefully, I won't get any more problems when I get them. I say "when" because, being categorized as special needs, these particular lenses are not carried in stock and have to be ordered, but you still have to pay up front which is understandable, and, with discount for Pension Credit etc, they still cost me £324. I think in my next life I'll make glasses because it never ceases to amaze me how expensive it is for a couple of pieces of reinforced plastic!
I would like to spend a little time and pay tribute to my kid brother Dave. He is, in my humble opinion, an incredible example of how some individuals can display more courage and fortitude in dire situations, than most of us are capable of imagining. It all started literally with a sore throat, which, after a series of bad diagnoses, turned out to be cancer in the back of his tongue. Of course, by the time they got it right, the damage was done, and the tongue was damaged beyond repair and that, together with a load of treatment including chemo-therapy, signalled the end of solid food for Dave, and a sketchy forecast as to how long he could hope to be a living member of the human race. What nobody took into consideration was my brother's strength of will and determination to beat the odds stacked so heavily against him. He taught himself to speak, which without a tongue is a feat of extraordinary proportions, and even continued his love of participating in kareoke! Normally it is the younger brother who looks up to his big brother but I have the greatest respect and admiration for Dave who is, not only a lot more intelligent than I am, but has shown a level of courage and determination reserved only for a very special chosen few among us. His latest hobby is writing poetry and he gave me a booklet containing a collection of his work so far. He, like me, has always had an interest in English Language, probably down to Mr Jones, our Primary School teacher, who gave us a great start on the subject, and gave us the desire to be able to express ourselves fluently. I can imagine if Mr Jones, sadly deceased, was around to receive text messages on his mobile phone, he would put a line through it and text back "REWRITE!", but I digress. Having read Dave's booklet of poems I thought it would be good to put one on this page and you can come to your own conclusions, so here, together with Dave's words of introduction, is one of his renditions:
Introduction. At the time of writing, (June 2008), I'm a sixty-three year old survivor of cancer. I don't want to make too much of that fact and I'm certainly not looking for the sympathy vote. I mention it to explain the nature of some of my poems in order that no-one is upset by their content. In fact, one of my thoughts in assembling this rather peculiar melange is that, should anyone find themselves facing what I've been through, it may give them them and their friends and carers a bit of a smile and maybe even encouragement. Some might think it's a bit late in life to start something new but my attitude is, why not? So, here goes. I hope you enjoy...
The Art of Writing Poetry
I don't know if you're int'rested in letters set in rhyme, I began to do it recently now it happens all the time
At first it was quite difficult to find a word to fit, but like most things, it does in fact, get easier bit by bit
My first attempt, some years ago, was an ode for my wife Chris which I felt was a masterpiece with my usual hubris
For that great word I had to search my online thesaurus, and "Arrogance" is what it means in case you're thick - like us
I didn't try it any more until a month ago, as we approached my Mum's birthday - a fabulous nine o
Yes, ninety years she's been around and this I had to mark with something quite original, and then I felt this spark
A flash of inspiration just came to me one day, so I sat down to set to rhyme the words I had to say
Our daughter's birthday then came next, two days before my Mum and, because I'd started soon enough, I had time to spare - and some
By now, of course, the die was cast and poems were expected for every member of the tribe considered close connected
The question now I have to ask is where does this all end? I really think I'd struggle to compose for every friend
But just for now I quite enjoy the challenge and the effort of finding words to suit the time, and a rhyme that works of some sort
So, as it stands, I'll write again when need and mood combine and hope that someone out there thinks it fair, this work of mine
"Why did he bother?" some will ask when considering my poem, but if, in time, I come to fame, I can say then that'll show 'em
If just one soul finds what I write engenders some emotion, or has some bearing on their journey over life's great ocean
Then I can feel my time well-spent and my offering worth making especially since this really is a personal undertaking
To discover just how well I cope and, without giving myself airs, discover if I have the knack like my heroine, Pam Ayres
So if, dear reader, you've been moved and feel you'd like to try to emulate what you have read then there's no reason why
You shouldn't do much more than me, 'cos I'm just a beginner at setting out my thoughts in rhyme, but you could be a winner
Next time that you sit down to write a letter to a friend, why don't you see if you can choose some words with the same end
To make them rhyme and scan just right and long before you know it, I'm sure you'll find that, just like me, you've now become a poet!
Having composed quite a few songs including lyrics which are, in fact, musical poetry, I was impressed by the above, and the rest of the booklet's contents, and if any of you who read this echo my sentiments, I feel sure it can be arranged should you want to read more of his works. All I can say is,"Good one mate, keep up the good work!" and now, something completely different.....
Gents, are you fed up with hearing your other half talking about healthy diets and the extra inches which seem to be accumulating? Just show her this bit of video and you should be guaranteed a bit of peace & quiet.......... Red Hot Salsa (click)
Have you ever heard about that dream where you're at one end of a long narrow corridor and you can see the other end but it seems a long way away? You start walking and the other end of the corridor never seems to get any closer no matter how long or fast you walk, it's still a long way off. I've found out what it means because I'm experiencing it at the moment with Virgin Media! Part of the package I (and everyone else who deals with them) get is a website called SelfCare, which is website you can visit to check the statistics of your web pages. It's extremely useful to be able to log on to this site and see at a glance how many people have logged on, what they're looking at, and what they're looking for, it gives you a good idea as to what sort of thing you should include in your write-ups. Unfortunately, for the best part of 2 months, apart from the odd day now and then, I haven't been able to log on as the site is down, and after umpteen phone calls and letters, I'm no farther forward than I was when I started! I've had a wide variety of reasons why, excuses, empty promises and conversations with people in India that I can't understand, and I'm sick of it. The final straw was an email from Virgin Media informing me that the contents of my website was nearing the maximum limit, which was like showing a red rag to a bull. Here's the message I received, followed by my reply to said message:
Dear mikeaguitarman,
As of this morning your website is 95% full. You are using 55872 KBytes of your limit of 56320 KBytes.
This is just a gentle reminder that if you reach your limit of 56320 KBytes that you will not be able to upload any further files. If you are running any scripts or ZISP tools from your site, these may also stop working should you reach your quota.
You can monitor your disk space usage on an ongoing basis by looking at the graph in Self Care. You can access this by logging into http://selfcare.blueyonder.co.uk
You might wish to delete some files from your site, or to change your website to take this into account.
As part of your service, you are able to access statistics on usage of your site, and the raw logfiles [from which these statistics are generated]. These do not affect your quota, and you cannot delete these files.
Regards,
The team at Virgin Media
This is either a wind-up which is in extremely bad taste considering recent events and my current opinion of "the team at Virgin Media" whose inability to do their job defies description OR, just goes to prove that the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing in the Virgin Media organization. I followed the link in this message in the hope that at long last I might be able to gain access to the Self Care site, but, silly me for trying as I STILL CAN'T LOG ON, A SITUATION THAT HAS PREVAILED FOR THE BEST PART OF TWO MONTHS. I am fed up to the back teeth with all the excuses I get when I try phoning in the fault, fed up with the "brick wall attitude" I get when I try to go up through the chain of command, and am seriously contemplating suspending my monthly direct debit to Virgin Media UNTIL THE FAULT IS FIXED. As you so rightly say, the SelfCare site is part of a service I'm paying for, and I'm not getting it so, FINGERS OUT GUYS AND DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO - FIX IT !!!!!!
Virgin Media's response was to send me another email, this time an "auto response" offering different avenues for notifying them of the problem, one of which was going onto the Virgin Media website and filling out a proforma. I went to the site and found that none of the items listed came even close to the problem I had, so I tried another option, a telephone number they supplied, and the number was no longer available! As you can imagine, by this time I've got steam coming out of my ears, but I was determined not to leave the matter unresolved and so I did it the long way, I wrote them a letter.......
Dear Sir / Madam, or whatever robot happens to be in charge when this letter of complaint gets read.
Further to a letter I sent you on the 4th May 2008 regarding not being able to log on to my Web Page Statistics, the problem still exists, and despite numerous telephone calls, and a range of excuses that would do the world’s greatest liar proud, I am no further forward in getting this problem resolved than I was two months ago.
The latest incident, which was akin to kicking someone on the ground, was an email informing me that I had reached 95% of my website capacity, and should consider trimming the contents. IF I COULD LOG ON TO MY WEB PAGES STATISTICS, I WOULD HAVE FOUND THAT OUT MYSELF.
In the last few weeks I have tried to relay the problem to Virgin Media using a variety of telephone numbers, and I’m fed up to the back teeth with all the empty promises, lame excuses and the “brick wall attitude” adopted by your staff who recite the pat phrases they’ve been given by some prat further up the management scale.
When I received the email re the capacity of my website, I replied to it voicing my complaints, and all I got back was an automated response directing me to a website where I could fill out a proforma, and a telephone number which, I found on trying it, no longer exists. Hence ONCE AGAIN, I’m putting pen to paper.
If, by some miracle of technology (which you boast to have a lot of), ALL my telephone calls and various correspondence to Virgin Media could be gathered together, it should be as plain as the nose on your face that I’m not a happy chappy. Here’s a part of the email message I received, “As part of your service, you are able to access statistics on usage of your site, and the raw logfiles [from which these statistics are generated]. “ There’s really only two things I can say to that, and they are, WHO’S KIDDING WHO? and, WHY AM I PAYING FOR SOMETHING I’M NOT GETTING?
Yours sincerely
Where it goes from here is anybody's guess but I'll keep you posted.
While browsing looking for decent downloads I found a site with a load of Optical Illusions, and some of them are fascinating to say the least. The first one here shows 2 triangles made up of different coloured pieces which are the same size on both but when they're re-arranged there's a spare white square???
How about this one, are the cogs turning??
This next one makes your head swim!!
What colour are the dots in this one???
Here's one to test your powers of observation:
And finally, work this one out...
For those who would rather sit back, relax and listen to a bit of Country Music try this link.. www.tagtele.com/videos/voir/11924 I've got it on good authority that Little Rock want to include this in their repertoire, I wonder why!!!!
On a more sombre note, I saw on the News today that Primark were being hauled over the coals for selling clothes that had been made by children in the poverty-stricken areas of India. Much as I abhor the thought of child slavery like this I think the media ought wake up and smell the roses. This practice, along with others of a far more sinister fashion, have been going on forever, and as long as Joe Public buys stuff on the cheap there'll be a market for it. Primark have been targeted in this instance but, let's face it, they're all at it and sadly, trying to put an end to the practice would be an almost impossible task human nature being what it is. In the so-called civilized parts of the world we all make the right noises of reproof but life goes on and it's soon forgotten. Just close your eyes and try to imagine the kind of existence some people have to cope with and thank your lucky stars it's not you.
Finally, some new additions to the JOKES page, thanks to Foxy.
I've got to admit that, like a lot of people, I'm an Ebay freak, and if I'm looking for something, that's usually the first place I'll have a look. A couple of days ago I decided that I wanted to upgrade my mobile phone. The one I have using for a few years is a Sony Ericsson P900, which is a great phone but has a couple of disadvantages. The largest external memory stick it will accept is 64 meg which is useless if you want to put on a load of mp3's, and the battery life isn't too hot. With this in mind I did a search on Google with those criteria in mind and it came up with another Sony Ericsson, the W850i. As I'm not really into what the P900 is capable of, and this phone was literally a radio and mp3 player with a huge amount of battery time, this is what I started looking for. Brand-new they retail at anything up to £250, hence the search on Ebay. I found a couple, one black one and one white one (I know, and with with a bit of shite on), and decided that I liked the look of the white one so I started watching it to see how the bidding was going. I also kept an eye on the black one just out of curiosity. It was strange because, where the bidding on the black one went up steadily, there were no bids for the white one which was in "as new" condition, whereas the black one had a few marks through wear & tear. With less than an hour to go I placed the opening bid asked for and waited. As the black phone auction was due to finish about 5 minutes before the white one, I kept an eye on how the bidding was going, and with about 3 minutes to go, the fun started. The bid jumped from £37 to £100, then to £150, then to £400, and finished on £410!I felt sorry for the seller, because it was obviously somebody's sick idea of a joke and meant that, if the seller wanted to sell the phone, he or she would have to start all over again, or offer it as a second chance to the highest bidder before the idiots jumped in. Needless to say, my backside was twitching when I went back to the one I'd bid on, just in case it started happening there as well! Thankfully the final 5 minutes passed without incident and I won the phone, in fact I was the only bidder which was ideal, and have been in contact with the seller and it's on it's way. As a matter of further curiosity I pulled up the site of the black phone today and saw that the bogus buyer, a certain "tommyrose12345" is no longer registered with Ebay. That's as may be, he was on long enough to bugger up some poor sod's day!
Sunday 29th June, a celebration with the Tamar Valley Westerners to Derek, (son of founder members Lin & Lawrence), who'd reached the big 40. It was great for Chris & I because the entertainment for this auspicious occasion was being provided by Terry Maher (click for pic) who we hadn't seen in a long time. We made a point of getting there in plenty of time so we could sit and chat to Terry and his lovely wife Bonny. He had been playing at Gareth's festival in Tumble the same weekend alongside my old mates Bobby Jones, Mel and Mary, and Sherri & Steel, so I got all the latest news. Funnily enough, I'd received a new CD from Bobby a couple of days ago with a letter promising to contact me after he and Anthea got back home from the Tumble Festival. We may be hundreds of miles apart but we always keep in touch, that what friends are for. Anyway, it was a good evening and, for us, the star of the show was Derek's young daughter Regan, who is officially now a member of the Confederates (click for pic), and proudly took part in the Trilogy at the end of the evening and did her parents, grand-parents, and everyone else proud. She really was a star, and reflected the true spirit of these Westerners, well done sweetheart!
To all mobile phone users, and let's face it, that covers just about everybody these days, you might find this interesting. Have you ever had a phone was originally on contract to people like Orange or Vodaphone, and has all their crap on it as well as the maker's? Well, what you probably didn't know is that all that extra rubbish might be conflicting with the manufacturer's specifications and, if you decided, as I did, to opt for pay-as-you-go, you can get all the extra stuff removed to make the phone more efficient. It's called De-Branding, and the list of advantages is a mile long. I got the W850i mobile, which I bought recently, unlocked locally, and happened to mention to the guy who did it, how nice it would be to get rid of all the Vodaphone crap that was on there. He told me it could be done but was expensive and not really worth the cost. My curiosity was aroused so I did a search on Google and found firms advertising their capabilities of doing this de-branding so I dug deeper and found to my disgust that I could have not only had the phone unlocked, but de-branded as well for the same money I'd paid just to get it unlocked! Of the two sites I checked, one stood head & shoulders above the other as it had a telephone number readily available that you could ring and talk to somebody about any queries. I rang the number and spoke with a guy who was very pleasant and down-to-earth, and he was extremely helpful to boot. He talked me through the procedure necessary and suggested that, if I didn't really fancy trying to do it myself, I could send the phone to them and they would do it and send it back to me. I opted for this method and duly packaged up the phone and sent it to them on Monday afternoon with a cheque. I found after doing this that I could have used Paypal, so the next morning I phoned them again explaining that the phone was on it's way with a cheque payment, and as I didn't really want to wait for the cheque to be cleared for payment, I would go on line and pay via Paypal. The guy on the other end of the phone told me not to worry, the phone would be done the same day it was received and posted off same day back to me. True to his word the phone was back with me today (Wednesday) all done and working far better than it did before. Gone are the Vodaphone icons and all the other garbage and it's back to the condition it was in when it came out of Sony Ericsson's factory. Anyone interested in checking out their very comprehensive site should go to; www.fonefunshop.co.uk it's well worth a visit.
Just had a good ol' chat with Foxy who's back home after the Tumble Festival where he was in charge of Security as always. His good lady, Doreen, who's had her fair share of bad luck one way or another, had a nasty fall and broke her wrist! Poor Dor, she's been through the grinder enough without having that to contend with, hope you're better soon darlin'. I'd already had snippets about the weekend after talking with Terry Maher last Sunday night and "my adopted son" Chris James, last night, so Foxy filled in the gaps, especially regarding the antics he and John (the DJ) got up to when Mel Paul & Mary Lacey were on stage. Here's picture he emailed me (click for pic), and it's obvious from it that he has totally ignored the email I sent him re the dangers of cross-dressing in public! The trouble is, Mary's got a mischievious streak, and John and Foxy are always game for a laugh. The weekend went well from all accounts with one little incident which left a bad taste in Foxy's mouth, and on hearing what it was, I must admit that I agree with him. The last thing you expect when going to a Country Music Festival is to find thing's going missing because Westerners have always had the reputation of being an honest bunch and, let's face it, it should apply where-ever you go (but unfortunately doesn't). On this occasion it wasn't anything valuable, just a tea-towel sized Welsh flag that had been placed on the bar by Foxy, but it went walkies when it shouldn't have. Foxy asked around and, with the help of a member of the barstaff, and a CCTV camera, was able to see the thief in action, a woman who shall remain nameless. As I said, it was only a tuppeny-ha'penny item but there's a principal involved. Let's face it, if they'll nick something like that, imagine somebody leaving a wallet lying around. You might say, with something like that, they'd hand it in as Lost Property, but then again, Pigs might Fly! The galling part of it to Foxy is, he knows who did it, she knows he knows who did it. but she brassed it out and didn't say a word, but take it from me, if I know Foxy, he'll have the last laugh, say no more!
I have recently watched a TV documentary about the unfortunate demise that befell Buddy Holly and the other unfortunates who sadly died in that horrific plane crash, and a TV film dedicated to the rise to fame of the Beatles. Both of these events happened shortly after I had decided that going on tour was not really beneficial to my health (physically, mentally or financially). Our band, like all the others doing the same thing, was bouncing around the country in ever-decreasing circles with no rhyme or reason it seemed except putting money into the agent's pocket because we certainly didn't make much at it with all the expenses we were forking out. Over the years I have talked with different artistes who are still touring, and it would appear without a doubt that agents nowadays are no better than they were over 40 years ago. They're still the same greedy robbing bastards who couldn't give a shit about the artistes as long as the money rolls in. Silly me for thinking things could change.
Nothing much to report at present, but I did get this from Fran, bless her, and it's definitely worth airing....
For all Who Work With Rude
Customers
An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny while making her point
when
confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service.
A single attendant was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers.
Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his
ticket down on the counter and said, 'I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS
to be FIRST CLASS'.
The
attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but
I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work
something out.'
The
passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind
him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?'
Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address
microphone: 'May I have your attention please, may I have your attention
please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.
'We
have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can
help him find his identity, please come to Desk 14.'
With
the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the
Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F... You!'
Without flinching, she smiled and said, (I love this bit)
'I'm
sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too.'
I have never been one for celebrating Birthdays. Over the years I've been on stage as usual and, on many occasions, been asked to play "Happy Birthday" for someone in the audience! So, after opening the cards I received from family members and good friends, imagine my surprise when, on checking my emails I found that my baby brother (well, he's only 64) had spent time composing the following poem:
I’ve thought about it long and hard, because you are my brother,
Does this mean that you qualify for a rhyme just like our mother?
To celebrate her big nine-o, in rhyme I had my say;
Now all my friends expect a verse to mark their special day.
So, as my favourite brother, Mike, I think you rate a poem
And, if your friends ask what it says, with your website, you can show ’em.
Computers now and music too we both enjoy a lot;
We’re so alike in many ways and, then again, we’re not.
Your hair so long and mine so short, who’d think that we were brothers?
I’m sure that someone seeing us would say, “They’ve different mothers.”
But things we do and things we say confirm our lineage
And brothers we have always been from quite an early age.
My guardian and protector back when we were still quite young;
My guitar tutor you became and many songs were sung.
When we were kids, the three year age gap always seemed a lot
But nearly sixty summers on, it matters not one jot.
The chance to reminisce is rare, living so far apart,
But now’s my opportunity to say what’s in my heart.
I’m glad that it’s your birthday, Mike, so I can truly say
I hope that you have all you want and a really marvellous day.
Needless to say I was touched and extremely chuffed that Dave took the time to write it and I will treasure it. Who knows, if he gets all his poems published, I could be related to a real celebrity! No matter what, in my mind, he's a tower of strength when I think about what he's gone through and continues to battle with.
Ironically, (not having played for a while), I'm playing today on my birthday, never mind eh!
We drove the 70 odd miles to West Buckland without incident and found the Village Hall with no problems. Getting the gear in was a doddle and I was set up and ready to go with loads of time to spare. I had been told by Freda, who booked me, that, although it was a Country Music club, they like a good helping of Rock'n Roll, so I did my best to oblige, and played songs I haven't done in a long long time. The only problem was, although I still had the backing tracks I'd laid down years ago, I didn't have any song sheets showing me the lyrics and the structure of the song, so I was definitely flying by the seat of my pants, and needless to say the mistakes came thick and fast. Not that the dancers seem to mind, they had great time and joked about it saying "Well, at least it proves you're playing live music". Although I must admit I enjoyed the gig, it's not something I would want to do too often. Belting out Jerry Lee Lewis, Chuck Berry etc is fine when you're in your 20's - 30's, but it sure takes it out of you when you're the wrong side of 60! Needless to say, the shirt I was wearing was saturated, and the sweat was stinging my eyes. I have always perspired a lot, and have a lot of salt on my meals to replace what I lose sweating. Unfortunately, it's a vicious circle because I then sweat more salt out and so on and so on. The other thing that always tickles me is, it must look pretty comical to see a grey-haired old git like me thumping out "Great Balls of Fire", especially when I think I was doing these songs when they were first released! I had to laugh recently when Scott, my mate, told me about a live concert they'd been to, to see (hang on, I'm having a senior moment, what was the name again? Ah yes..) Meatloaf. Scott was saying it was dire, and he felt embarrassed watching this so-called superstar trying to do the songs that made him famous, and let's face it, in the run of things Meatloaf is still a youngster! I'd be very interested to know just how many guys of my era are still doing it. One who does spring to mind is Mel Paul, who joined Screaming Lord Sutch's band the "Savages" as a drummer the year after our band at that time had toured with them. Of course, all who know Mel Paul & Mary Lacey will know that now he plays guitar and would seem to have given up the noble art of knocking 7 bells out of pigskin. Another local character in Plymouth area is my good friend Dave Cawse who formed the Country band "Medicine Bow" many years ago, a band that became a household name in the Country Music scene. Dave still dabbles and occasionally goes out with a 5-6 piece band which he puts together. Unfortunately, in this day and age, the big bands are not much in demand because the clubs, with their dwindling membership, cannot find the necessary funds. If there are any guys (or gals) out there who are in their mid 60's, and they're still playing, I'd love to hear from you.
Again, my apologies for the lack of entries lately, but, with one thing and another, we've had a busy time. Mum has been very poorly over the last few weeks, and at the tender age of 90, has been a bit of a major concern. My faith in the NHS has never been that strong and events of the last couple of weeks have only borne out my opinions on certain aspects of the organisation and job dedication of certain departments. Things more or less came to a head when, having seen a replacement doctor (because her's was on maternity leave), it was arranged that she was to be taken to Derriford Hospital by ambulance, for x-rays on her hip to try to find the cause of the immense pain she was experiencing. So, the Friday before last we went to see her at home where she was sat waiting with Pat, my sister, for the ambulance to turn up. Up to the time we said our fond farewells it hadn't shown up, and on contacting my sister around tea-time, discovered that it didn't turn up period. It seems that Pat, had finally phoned the hospital to ask the whereabouts of said ambulance, only to be told that, because of a bad traffic accident somewhere, it would not be available to take Mum to the Hospital. That part, although unfortunate, was understandable. What I couldn't understand is why use an ambulance in the first place when a Hospital Car could have done the job. It turned out in the end that my sister had to take Mum to the Hospital in her own car, which, if she'd been kept informed by the Hospital, she could have hours earlier, because, as a result of the time delay, they had to sit in a busy corridor for hours before a slot was available in the X-ray department. They finally arrived back home around 10pm, tired and fed up and, to really rub salt in the wound, no further forward in the diagnosis of the problem because the resulting X-rays had not helped one bit, except to eliminate the possibility of any broken bones. Mum had been referred back to the GP for further investigation which was another factor that rubbed me up the wrong way. It would seem that "forward thinking" is not part of the vocabulary in the Hospital because,,in my mind, if one team of so-called experts can't find out what's wrong, they would pass the ball on to someone who might be a bit more in the know on that particular part of the body. When I voiced my displeasure regarding how things were being conducted, my sister recommended that I bite my tongue, and not cause any unpleasantness which might reflect in the future handling of Mum's problems. Unfortunately, (or fortunately as it turned out), I have always been very outspoken, and to me, as a song I composed says, "A Spade's A Spade", and so, much against everyone's wishes, I started making waves. I contacted the Doctor's Surgery and found the name of the one handling Mum's present predicament, and arranged to go and see him to voice my concerns on certain things. As it turned out, I never got to meet him because that day, while we were over Mum's the phone rang and it was the doctor that I'd arranged to go and see. After a brief conversation with my sister Pat, he asked if I was there, and, if so, could he have a word with me, and so we had an in-depth conversation on the phone re my concerns and he agreed with every criticism I made of the treatment done to date. From the moment our telephone conversation ended, thing's started to happen. The doctor visited Mum at home later that day and it was arranged that she would spend some time in Hospital where, she would not only receive the care and attention she needed, but she would visited by various specialists in an attempt to diagnose what exactly was wrong. She is still in Hospital, but there has been a marked improvement in her well-being on the whole even though the problem hasn't been solved. Other aspects of my conversation with the Doctor will also be brought into play when she does finally get home which, after all is said and done, is all I thought was necessary in the first place. All I can say is, there are times when I'm glad I am who I am because, sad as it is to say it, there are times when you need to be that way because if you don't make waves, nobody'll do it for you!
On a lighter note, we've had company this weekend in the form of our adopted children Chris James and Dawn. We met around 5 or so years ago and have been great friends ever since even though there's a huge age gap and we're old enough to be their mother and father. It was obvious from day one that Chris and I are kindred spirits where music is concerned so